stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
