And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
