You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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