we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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