Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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