I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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