I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
