we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
