You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
