Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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