my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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