i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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