Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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