Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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