Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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