I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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