someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
