I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
