so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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