I can't breathe out the right side of my face
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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