i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
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Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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