it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize