you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm like, not good at living.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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