WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
