are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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