i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize