Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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