What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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