Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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