He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
