Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched a dick in church today
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize