Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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