Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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