Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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