i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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