i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
