Only a mothe r could love this liver
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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