My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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