We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
