He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
