I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
