god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
