Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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