so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
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He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
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He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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