dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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