Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
