He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
