i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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