My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you have to choose: penises or morals?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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