i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
