Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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