Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
