Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
