he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
