Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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