so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
