Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my shit smells like andre
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just gargled with NyQuil
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
